Thread of Affliction
by Ashia Yifei 07
Summary: Losing friendship is hard, but regaining it is harder especially when you know that what you want is beyond what you can achieve. WILL UNDERGO REVISION
1. Missing

**Hi there..this is my second fanfic.. this is about my 3rd favorite pairing..TsubaSaki..  
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" _Cause you've made me believe that we're best friends.. just best friends.. I've decided to drift away. Anyway, I have no more right to stay."_

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" Ne, Tsubasa, can't you stop slacking off and help me carry these boxes?" with her hands on her waist like a mother reprimanding Tsubasa.

Yes, this heralded a new day for Misaki and Tsubasa. Misaki carrying piles of boxes with miscellaneous contents..really? How strong she is!! Oh no,, not piles of miscellaneous contents but piles of scratch papers. A while ago, Noda-sensei asked her to bring those boxes to the office of Misaki-sensei since he was going to do them or rather convert them into something useful..of course biology-related materials.

Tsubasa was under a tree sleeping soundly..eh? Soundly? Hell no..if Misaki was around..he'd never have the chance to at least have forty winks and have a catnap. And this proves it. He wasn't really sleeping..he was just closing his eyes as an alibi not to notice Misaki.

Misaki, knowing how light the boxes were, she still wanted Tsubasa to help her but…

" Oh, gomen.. I still have some important things to do," he said as he dusted his uniform walking forward out of the shadows of the leafy branches of the tree, but not towards Misaki. He really wanted to escape as soon as possible.

As usual, a vein popped out of Misaki's head..

"So, you mean, sleeping is more important than those important things?!? Oh, c'mon Tsubasa!" she scolded him as she was stomping her right foot. Actually, she was enjoying her doing.. acting like a mother to Tsubasa. It had been a long time since they had been like this.

But in a minute..her fragile glee..finally..shattered.

" Well, let's just put it that way," he told her nonchalantly as he left Misaki behind feeling the guilt formed from the past.

Nonchalantly. When did that word suit Tsubasa? Wasn't it for Natsume only? Yes, Tsubasa started to become like this..but to Misaki only.

Guilty. When did Misaki feel guilty? For Tsubasa? Never.. that was before..After all, she just kept on joking and hanging out with Tsubasa, right? Because they're friends.. Yes..they were friends..they can never be more than that. They will never be.

Depressed of what happened, Misaki just laid the boxes on the table. Anyway, she needed not to carry them..she needed not to be helped by anyone else. She could just simply reason out to Noda-sensei if its supposed time of arrival was delayed. All she needed that time.. was the lost attention of her best friend.. her former best friend..to her.

Sighing, like the whole world had just fallen upon her two shoulders and she gave no comment nor any complaint of it, she walked down the hall of the High School Building ( yeah, they're already high school..in my story) not knowing where her feet may lead her. Head bowed, she decided only to look up if ever she would bump onto something or someone. Luckily, she bumped onto someone if not, she might be in the hospital now for bumping onto an enormous concrete wall.

" Misaki-senpai, daijoubu?" she bent slightly to see Misaki's face if ever there was a problem.

Misaki was startled by Mikan's voice not by the impact made by the bumping.

" Uh..uhm.. I was just spacing out..gomen..," she snickered as she caressed the back of her hair.

" Ne, Senpai.. you've been like that for I think.. a year and a half , and I still don't know why. Care to tell me?" Mikan wondered.

Misaki chuckled..faintly.

"Ah.. I guess… people do change.. Well, then, see you later Mikan-chan!" and she went off.. running.

She managed to feign happiness but anybody could tell it was fake for happiness had never been on her side since that day.

Meanwhile, Tsubasa was again sleeping under a tree. Actually, he didn't have any important thing to do, he just wanted to escape from the reality, from Misaki.

" _Misaki, I have to tell you something.. I Love you"_

" _Tsubasa, you're always joking, I know that very well, because I am your best friend.. and don't worry, I also feel the same way"_

" _You..love me..? as a best friend"_

" _Of course.. well.. I can't love you more than that.. I've treated you as a twin brother eversince"_

_**Twin brother**_

_**Bestfriend**_

These phrases were reverberating in his head that he suddenly opened his eyes and panted. Something was choking him.. that was the undeniable fact.

" Geez, why do they keep on haunting me?" he mumbled.

Suddenly he noticed something. The end of his bangs was smoking. Eh? Smoking?. Yep, it was on fire.

"Oh crap," he panicked as he patted his hair vigorously. He glared at someone who was standing beside him. And you know very well who was it.

" Oi, cut this off, what the hell is your problem?" he asked in disdain, though he really didn't want to show that kind of attitude in front of that someone, but her beautiful bangs was on the stake so he had to.

" I should be the one asking you , what the hell is your problem sleeping under my tree, idiot," Natsume reproached.

As expected, Tsubasa could just moan knowing that no words can really defeat this guy, that nobody could rupture the pride and coolness of Natsume.

" Ah..gomen.. I was.. I don't know, really.. what's happening to me..," he said in a silent distress.

"Tch. Why are teenagers like that?" Natsume questioned him in extreme disgust.

" Well, you're also like this, you're a teenager, don't you dare deny it," he chortled.

" Spill it out," Natsume commanded.. out of the blue.

" Eh?" Tsubasa aked.. out of curiosity.

" You have a problem.. I know," Natsume answered with confidence.. yeah.. because he's a genius.

Tsubasa then stood and muddled the hair of Natsume.. like a child.

" Oi, want me to burn you to ashes?" he suddenly uttered which made Tsubasa froze for a while on his spot.

After like having a psychosis, he regained the sense of reality.

" Yeah, I wish I could tell you.. but you'll never understand. Ja'ne!"

He walked away leaving Natsume shaking his head.

Tsubasa decided to go.. no.. to visit their S.A room,, it's better or safer if he would go there every once in a while.. no one knows, his secret might be revealed untimely. That would cause a big fuss especially in the case of Mikan. Somehow, he really finds it insufferable to be there… well, if only that person is present.

As he was walking, he could feel that someone was either glaring or gazing at him. And it hit him. Looking at his way, beside him was the person he hadn't wished to see at that moment, the one who made the whole of him be shrouded in frigid ice.

" Tsubasa, you're heading to S.A room, ne?" Misaki inquired him, squeaking, maybe because of her surfeit excitement for this may start a conversation between them and bring back the long lost friendship.

Tsubasa continued walking.

" Yeah, sort of," he droned. He was not in the mood of talking to Misaki at that time, heck.. he never had the mood.

" May I join you?" she still persisted though she was aware of the fact that Tsubasa didn't want to talk to her.

He stopped, anger, worse.. hatred came for a sudden visit.

" What are you trying to do? Why the hell do you still wish to be with me? What do you really want from me?" Tsubasa asked begging for a definite answer.. for a closure.

He intensely looked at Misaki, eye to eye.

" I'm trying to get back to what we were back then, Tsubasa, I miss you.." she spoke softly.

He could only smirk.

" You know very well that we can never be the same again, and I'm not really the one you miss, you just miss my presence but not me,"

He tried to run but Misaki grabbed his wrist.

" I'm sorry, Tsubasa.. I.." she managed to say.. guilt-ridden.

" You don't need to..it's over..over," he finally let out the words he had been feeling for almost a year and a half. As much as he wanted to believe that hope is still there.. somewhere.. just hiding or maybe disguising itself.. but this predicament just can't be denied and concealed.

Misaki had a tear escaped from her eyes that she loosened her grip of Tsubasa's wrist letting Tsubasa to walk away… slowly.

_**Thanks for reading!! Pls. Review! and kindly point out my grammatical errors.. i would gladly accept it.**_


	2. Confusion

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice ( how I wish but never..ouch!)**

**I forgot to put this in the first chapter. :D**

**Sorry for the late update..but pls..keep reading.. thank you!  
**

Dayspring usually is the sign of another day but to our protagonists of this story, it's just another portent of the shadow of their day.

Actually, they never bothered to know if the time they are having really can be considered as a day.. because unaccomplished tasks usually rule their day.

" Minna! Tomorrow is the Alice Ball, this is just a rare occasion, so why don't we go out and prepare?" Mikan suggested blatantly. She is always like this, right? She's the kind of girl who's always animated when parties are being talked about.

" Waste of money," Hotaru replied lethargically after sipping her tea. Oh yes,.. for her it would be a squander of money again even though this only occurs once a year. And they're not even extravagant in buying things. Oh.. .. her world revolves around money so there's nothing we can do.

" Oh yes.. I would love that!" Anna and Nanoko, considered as the twins, answered in unison. Their brains really have the same gyration of wheels.

" Oh..yeah.. I need to be fabulous enough for Natsume and Ruka to notice me! Ah!ah!ah!" Sumire squealed as she coiled her fingers in her tresses like flirting. Until now, she's still the President of the Natsume and Ruka's fans club .. even if she knows she doesn't have even a tinge of chance to win the hearts of her icons.

" How about you, Misaki-senpai?" asked Mikan when she noticed that Misaki was kinda silent that time, staring blankly to nowhere, you know.. like a living dead.

Misaki and her company or her kouhais were talking and planning for the Alice Ball tomorrow night. Misaki didn't come here as dictated by her mind and as wished by her heart, it was not her will.. she was just forced. Before, she was really excited going to balls like this, because that time everything was fine, now.. nothing.

Result.. she couldn't ride on the ongoing hilarity. She was there dwelling lamely in the world now enigmatic to her.

Alarmed by the voice of Mikan,

" Ah, I think… I still have plenty of things to do, so I might not be able to go out and besides.. I don't want to go to the party tomorrow," she tried to beam.. knowing that not attending the party tomorrow is something that shouldn't be grinned about. Still she added it to her expression to mask her almost palpable misery.

And yeah.. she did have plenty of things to do. Like Tsubasa, all she wanted to do that time was to think and to sleep.

" Souka.. are you alright, senpai?" now Mikan was cautious of Misaki's actions, something is definitely off beam.

" Uhm..yeah.. you better get going now..girls.. I'll just head back to my room and sleep, I'm not feeling well," she couldn't hide it anymore.. so she divulged the fact. She's not feeling well and she's afraid that she will never ever be feeling well again.

" I can say you're a bad liar, senpai..," Hotaru remarked unexpectedly.

" I thought you have plenty of things to do," Anna added as she pondered on what Misaki said a while ago.

" But you also said you're not feeling well.. and that you need to sleep," Nanoko agreed with her twin of course.

" Now, what's wrong, senpai?" Sumire asked agitatedly.

Now, Misaki was cornered by none other than words. Words are really powerful, aren't they?

" Ah.. now..now. don't you worry kouhais.. I'm fine.. I just need some rest then after that I'll finish my tasks.. and I've been exhausted for days.. so..-," at least she managed to trip over her tongue than being able to say nothing.. which simply means.. it's all true.. she's a liar… a bad liar.

Good thing, Mikan cut her off because she had no more idea what words were next to come out of her mouth.

" Ok,, see you then, senpai! And take care, ok?" she ordered Misaki like a big sister.

Then, she finished drinking her tea and there she stood.. putting back her chair in good place under the table.

Her friends also did the same and bade goodbye to Misaki.. with the *take care* tag.

Soon, Mikan with her company was already nowhere in sight. Misaki was now left alone there sitting on that particular chair and at that particular place where there was no sign of people except herself. She decided to proceed to her room leaving her tea.. cold….no trace of appreciation from Misaki.

Inside her room, she threw herself on her bed. She used to open her windows and let the air come in for her to breathe.. while doing something enjoyable. But now.. windows were closed… curtains were closed.. the door were closed.. her eyes were closed.. everything was closed except her heart and consciousness. Reason? She was not sure what she did want to do that time: to lie down, to sleep, or to cry.

She hates this. She hates everything that is currently happening. It's not right. Herself is now a complete stranger to her. Whenever she looks at the mirror, she can no longer identify if that is her. Yes, she is a doppelganger.. yet her alter ego is someone who's the opposite of the real her.

She used to think positively. Yeah, she used to have a cheerful disposition but now, everything was completely the opposite of the way things were.. before that day. She wants to rewind the time but she is not sure if she could alter the fact that she loves Tsubasa.. as her best friend.. or as someone more than that or maybe she never did, like she is just feeling pity for him.

She had never got out of that confusion. That was why until now.. no move.. no solution.

Time was really rushing. The ball was very fast-approaching, just like after opening your eyes, you were now in the middle of a complete peculiar atmosphere, the iridescent bulbs, the tittering of students, the shadows dancing and the "imaginary" sight of someone you've longed for almost one and a half year.

" Oh,, senpai.. you're really pretty in that dress, Kawaii!!" Mikan complimented Misaki while hovering.

Even if Misaki didn't come with them to the Central Town, she luckily found a dress in her cabinet, and she opted to go to the ball because if not, the dress would be useless. And she didn't want that. So, that's the only reason,. huh? Maybe not.

" Aw,, thank you Mikan-chan, you're also pretty cool in that suite," she said blushing.

(a/n: By the way.. my apology, I can't describe their dresses because I'm not really fond of fashion. Just imagine of something suitable to balls like that.)

" So, where are the others?" she then asked.

" Oh, well.. on the dance floor, they left me.." she answered with a sullen tone.

Misaki was very glad to know that at least her friends were enjoying the night, with their special someone. But she.. she was just alone, there was no one to enjoy the night with. She began remembering the previous years wherein she would go to the ball excitedly with her best friend, then she would make him her gofer (without giving him salary), asking him to get her drinks and food and then they would dance just like the others, casual dance- simple, no special affection.

" Oh,.. too bad, why aren't you dancing? Don't you have a partner?" she asked Mikan after reminiscing the phantom of her yesterdays.

" Uhm.. well, yeah.. I've been asking Hotaru but she didn't want.. instead she's just.." she left her words hanging as she pointed towards Hotaru…eating crab jam surrounded by her suitors. Misaki then sweat dropped as she scanned the whole area. There she saw Mikan's company. They were dancing, a girl-to-girl dance. She managed to smile with that sight. She thought they had their own partners but she was really amazed that they could still have the pleasure to have that night..even if..

Her musing was interrupted by Mikan.

" Senpai, how about you, where is Tsubasa- senpai? You two should be dancing ri-" she stopped in a sudden when she noticed that the smile Misaki had been trying to paint was now crumbling down…vanishing like it will no longer be visible..as long as.. they were swimming against that zone.

"Ah..ah..senpai..did I say something wrong? I'm sorry senpai.. I didn't mean to.." Mikan panicked. She was not used to Misaki being like this.. being crestfallen.

"Oh..it's ok.. Mikan-chan.. maybe he's just somewhere out there. Anyway, would you want to dance? I'll be your partner!" she grinned. Again, she was trying to simulate happiness.

Mikan heaved out a sigh. She thought something was wrong with her senpai. She put aside her thoughts.. and for a while kept it at the back of her mind. It was not the time to think topics like that.

" Really, senpai? Ok, yehey!! C'mon let's join them!" she started dragging Misaki to the dance floor.

And they started dancing unmindful of the tick tock of the clock, forgetting all the worries, having the time of their lives. For once, Misaki was able to laugh, laugh as in her genuine laugh not just a charade. And she was very happy, happy to feel her own happiness overflowing but she was scared that in any moment it might spill..be wasted.

The most awaited moment for that ball arrived in few minutes.

**Ok..!! sorry.. actually there is still a continuation but I just feel like cutting it.. don't worry I'll update as fast as I could.. and sorry no TsubaSaki scenes for this chapter..just the POV of Misaki..but for the next chapter.. there will be..mark my word!!**

**Pls. review!! Thank you!!**


	3. Hurt

**Ok..Chapter 3…haha..my story notebook is running out of pages as well as the contents of the succeeding chapters. I'm open for suggestions!!  
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Some couples stopped dancing while some just ignored the announcer when he came up the stage and declared something.

" Now for the last remaining seconds, choose your partners and sway with the flow of music," he stated with excitement.

The girls had finally concluded their girl-to-girl dance as they chose their respective partners, no.. the other way.. they were chosen by their partners.

"A…Anna..shall we?" Yuu blushed furiously.

" Oh..sure," the same..she was also flushing as she gave her hand to the reached out hand of Yuu.

" Ne, may I invite you?" Koko made his way to Nanoko and asked him with a relaxed tone.. he didn't want to stutter..it would be embarrassing.

" Ha..hai!!" similar to her twin.. she went red. And there she already danced with Koko.

" Ahem..well..you see," Mochu is known to be cool..or perhaps he's just acting and trying hard to be one especially because he is always seen beside Natsume. But when it comes to Sumire, he could never ever maintain his coolness, he also reddened as he invited her to dance.

Yeah, only Natsume has the guts to uphold his poise.

" Oh..yeah..i know," she answered with a tone like she was really expecting it ( because she's a ?) and that she needed not to be shocked. But deep inside her, she was really happy, at least even if she could not have Natsume or Ruka as her partner, Mochu is always there..for her.

" Imai.. I know.. you've been blackmailing me..bu..but..," now it's our bunny boy's turn.

Actually, it was ok for him not to dance.. anyway he already had few dances before..that was..when Mikan was still his partner..when he was not yet aware of his true feelings. But he just couldn't stand seeing Hotaru being surrounded by many guys, so he needed to be there to show them that Hotaru is taken already..by him. Che..he hasn't even started confessing. Until now, Hotaru doesn't know a thing, or maybe she does, anyway..she's also a sharp one.

" But still you want to dance with me? Yeah, fine..but you have to pay me back for interrupting me in eating my crab jam," she butted in since she could see Ruka was now having a hard time delivering his speech. With that, the surrounding guys started to step away gradually.. rejected and dejected. Ruka and Hotaru proceeded to the dance floor.

Now,,of course..it's time for our beloved couple.

" Polka, you know,,you're really hopeless, you don't have any partner, do you?" Well..how on earth can he invite Mikan by not being so fluffy and cheesy as his friends? Of course..by teasing her. But he wished this time, she wouldn't be so dense to fail to spot his point… cause that is always the problem. She's dense.

" Oh.. Natsume..you're ruining my night!!" aw..she failed to notice Natsume's point. Instead, she took it as a bad joke from Natsume. She took it as a compliment from Natsume, a wicked compliment like he was just telling her that she sucks at dancing that no one bothers to give a hell care to at least invite her to dance. Little did she know, Natsume is willing to take the risk of having a foot sore if in return is the chance of having Mikan as his partner.

So, now..it offended Natsume. He was trying hard to make Mikan understand, still she didn't. She even said that! Like she didn't want Natsume to be there and that it was better if he was not there..present for her! How rude of her!

" Then.. I should go..," and he walked away..briskly and in a moment disappeared into the crowd. Mikan, finally realizing how too dense she herself was, quickly rummaged for Natsume. By now, she knew she should have known Natsume better.

And for the real center of this story..

" Minna, it's now time to crown the rookie of the year, as always,it's none other than Misaki Harada. Misaki-san, please come up the stage," the announcer said with a beam.

The crowd applauded especially Mikan's company as well as their partners, while Mikan, well I do think she also heard it but she was just busy in finding Natsume that she forgot to cheer for her senpai. And as usual, many guys drooled over Misaki, asking her to be their partner. And the truth is, some of them were actually the former suitors of Hotaru. They changed their target, hoping this time, it would be their luck. Well, let's see.

Misaki came up the stage..expressionless. She was just hell tired that time to try to even have an emotion because it would always define pain.

When Misaki was already onstage..

The announcer added, " Misaki-san, name your partner please,"

Misaki was having a hard time thinking who should be her partner. For the previous years, her partner was none other than her best friend, Tsubasa, but that time, no need to worry, no need to escape from the reality because everything was simple and clear, everything was normal.

Now, she had no idea if she would still pursue her plan, if she would still continue what has been the tradition and if she would still deny the incessant fact. She scanned the whole area but she never saw a glimpse of _"him." _She sighed thinking that he did not come, still she tried..cause when you're amidst of that kind of situation..you will be left with nothing to do…except..to try. And so she did.

She breathed deeply like she was about to do something heavy but important.

" Well, then, Tsubasa, my best friend, I want to be your partner again," she then chuckled like there was something funny, was there?

Aw..so the suitors failed for the 999th time.

Big mistake, Tsubasa heard this. Actually, he was really willing to be Misaki's partner. He didn't want her to be humiliated in front of many persons, if he would not agree to be her partner. He admits, he still cares for Misaki..so much. After all, he is ready to do everything for Misaki, because she WAS his best friend and he IS her best friend.

But Tsubasa needed not Misaki to emphasize he is only her best friend, that forever, they would just be like that, no progress, because he has been believing it all those times. Hurt by that ten-letter word, he decided not to come upstage but to go back to the darkness. Everybody, even me, could tell that his decision was really an immature thinking but we can't blame him, pain and insecurity has been embedded and has been meddling his way of thinking..his sanity.

Seeing that no one in that area seemed to have the intention of coming upstage, meaning.. none of them was Tsubasa..

The announcer said," Ah..Misaki-san..it seems like your best friend is not yet around..so can you just name another one?"

Again, tears were looming to fall from Misaki's eyes. Pain had penetrated her heart and blood was already oozing out.

Still, she put her best effort not to show any sign of weakness. It's not good to be weak at other people's eyes, she has to show them that she's strong..though fragile.

" Oh..in that case..I'd rather be alone..,"

With that she quickly went down the stage. Her feet were ready to run a mileage if it would alleviate her pain, but Misaki was the one who wasn't ready yet. She didn't want the people to see her running away.. from the truth..crying. She didn't want to spoil the happiness her friends were feeling just because she couldn't find her own happiness. So, she just proceeded to somewhere else with an unnoticeable deviation. And I don't know what word should be used: fortunately or unfortunately… she found Tsubasa..face to face.

Meanwhile,after a long tiring "Natsume – hunting" job, Mikan finally saw Natsume sitting behind the bushes.

" Natsume..I've been looking all over for you," she lectured him with her hands on her petite waist.

" I did not ask you to do that," he replied coldly.

" C'mon Natsume..i'm just joking," trying to convince him that she loves joking and she just tested it on Natsume that time.

" It's not funny," he was not convinced..still indifferent.

He stood and was on his way of walking away from Mikan but she caught his wrist.

" Natsume, I'm dense..i know but sometimes I just can't understand you..so Sorry.. now can we have a dance just like the others?" she was now hitting the point..to dance with Natsume.

(a/n: I just don't want to focus more on their scene for this story might become a NatsuMikan when it's supposed to be TsubaSaki.)

Natsume, knowing that he couldn't stay mad at Mikan for one hour.. hell..even for just ten minutes or perhaps lesser, could just do nothing but to give in to Mikan's apology.

Of course being reserved as always, he couldn't let Mikan know that he's now being defeated..and only by her. And so he spoke..

" Thank me, I'm in a good mood," and with that he smirked as he slipped his hand towards Mikan's.

Mikan could just smile while feeling the warmth radiating from Natsume's hand. Now she knew, Natsume was sincere this time, though he's always sincere.. but the only difference is that this time, Mikan can feel it and she was just sure of it.

They started walking when suddenly a shrill voice was heard..full of agony.

After Misaki saw Tsubasa face to face, she could just stare at him,while Tsubasa avoided her gaze. He couldn't stand seeing her enveloped in melancholy, worse..the one who sealed her in that envelope was none other than him.

Misaki wanted to speak yet she couldn't even ajar her mouth even a bit. She had so many things to say that time yet she couldn't even utter a single word nor a letter.

They were both afraid to do the first move..because it might only be pointless.

But Misaki could take it no longer, she let her voice out, just as when Mikan and Natsume were passing by. And luckily they were not able to notice them or else the inevitable necessity would be interrupted again.

" I hate..you.. Tsubasa!" she screamed so hard like in any moment she would really punch Tsubasa hard.. right on his face. Not only that she was screaming but also she was crying.

Tsubasa could just lie, yeah..lie.

" Yep, I know that," he said indifferently. But he never knew. He was only aware of the fact that for sure Misaki is now really very angry at him but never did he consider Misaki hating him that much.

Now getting to her real point..

" You know you're so unfair, can you not at least talk to me, huh?" her gaze at Tsubasa was becoming more intense..begging for an answer that would satisfy her.

Tsubasa stopped for a moment, he needed to think. He just didn't know what to say or what to do. He had just lost his way out of the maze he was in. And it was all because of her.

Slowly..he lifted his head only to meet Misaki's eyes..tear-stained.

Giving her the answer,

" I..can't," and he had his head bowed..again..

**Ok…so I'm sorry again I just need to cut this TsubaSaki scene…haha..to leave it hanging and for some excitement. Until now..honestly..i still don't know how can I write more TsubaSaki scenes..except in the last parts..of course..because this is how the story goes..so I'm sorry if sometimes it makes you upset to read every chapter without their confrontation.**

**Thanks for reading!! !!**


	4. Realization

**Sorry for the late update..again. Well, I just can't type that much because my parents are keeping their eyes on me, I mean..they don't want me to be exposed that much with radiation. My sisters are also stopping me because we have our computer usage policy..but now..i'm trying my best.**

**Dedicated to: Misaki-harada. Thank you for your reviews. Your reviews keep me and this story going. Thank you!**

" _I can't"_

These two words..only two words.. successfully deprived the remaining hope in Misaki's heart. See, words are really powerful that they can provide you or in the opposite, deprive you all the emotions you need to have, in worse scenarios..words can also take your life..yet on the other side, words often give surreal bliss to everyone. But for Tsubasa's case..his words can only cause Misaki nothing but anguish..and that's painful to know. As for now, no words can come out from his mouth, apposite for their toned-down situation, that can fulfill Misaki's longing.

After uttering those words, his mind told him to go away as quickly as he could, how could he face Misaki now? Like he had just said, he can't, so what's the essence of staying near her? Nothing.

His feet started to move..slowly he took one step and for the succeeding ones, he changed to a fast pace..but Misaki can't let him leave like that..not when they're both in despair.

Misaki then caged Tsubasa's wrist without wavering.

" What's your problem? I thought we're best friends! And if you don't know, best friends are supposed to care for each other not to ignore each other! Now, why are you ignoring me like I am a plague in your life? " She let the words flow that were really rushing inside her mind. Mixed emotions were lucid in her voice: hurt, betrayed, insecure, angered and blast! All the possible feelings a best friend could undergo when she's being shunned by her best friend.

She continued speaking and asking intensely, after giving a break in her line and after waiting for Tsubasa's answer that never came.

" Why are you---," and now she was cut. Her most anticipated moment had just arrived..bad timing though.

" Shut it! You know my problem but you're making yourself blind! Can't you see I can no longer be with you.. I can no longer treat you as my best friend! I've harbored feelings for you, Misaki..unrequited feelings! Now, tell me, do I still have the right to stay?" Tsubasa almost shouted. At first, his mood was full of pain and disdain of himself..of Misaki being so oblivious of **the fact** or maybe she really doesn't want to notice it. In the end..the last line brought Misaki the notion of Tsubasa conceding defeat. Hell, this situation really makes them both deranged. And this fact..the fact that they both take differently is ineffaceable.

Misaki as always didn't know what to say. She knew really the problem..benumbing her. She wanted to tell him something though bemused but she was just being deterred by fear and ..confusion everytime she tried. She was pushed to a corner where it was hard for her to reach out to Tsubasa. They were both smirched..done.

Tsubasa after discerning that Misaki had nothing to say or was still on the process of formulating the words he needed to hear, decided to runaway again. He really wanted to know her answer that was if she would give him the chance to stay despite that quandary they were in but he was too coward to know, though he was still assuming that there would be an eventuality for them to be the persons they were before he brought this issue up. He then retreated his wrist from Misaki's hand and walk quickly..shutting his eyes.. swathing his ears..and sending down his heart. But somewhere deep inside..something dictated him to look back..but he was afraid to.. afraid to see Misaki..walking away. So he did the same as what he was expecting Misaki to do, he winced from Misaki..from the thread of affliction prickling him inexorably.

Misaki sensed that the wrist she was tightly holding was no longer there in her hand's cage. She wanted to run after Tsubasa but her legs were trembling, she felt so weak. It was a lame thing to do especially when you didn't even know why did you want to run. Would that make any difference? She never knew, she hasn't tried it yet.

Tsubasa's words were reverberating in the ears of her heart, she could not really take it anymore.

Natsume and Mikan witnessed the scene and they were shocked, even Natsume had his eyes dilated,,his mouth gaping a bit.

" _That is why Senpai has been like this," Mikan pondered..glumly._

" _That is why Andou has been like that," Natsume thought._

Unable to take the vestige of the tension that had just disappeared and perhaps lurking, Mikan then ran to Misaki..she wanted to comfort her. She knew the feeling of that yet Misaki seemed to be strong, she was not crying that much but Mikan knew the time she hugged her that she was carrying a grave burden. Of course, it's not good to be weak at the eyes of other people, you need to show you're strong and unscathed of any situation…though fragile.

" I'm sorry Senpai, I didn't know..I'm sorry, I was not able to be of help," Mikan cried..she wanted to share Misaki's pain.

" Mikan-chan? You saw..everything?" Misaki was a bit shocked and also embarrassed. It was inopportune for that kind of situation to be seen by ..children..if that's how she consider Natsume and Mikan.

" Yes,tch. Can you not fix it?" Natsume interrupted, recognizing his own presence. After all, he had grown close to Misaki especially to Tsubasa. It is one of his duties to somehow meddle with their business..their miserable business.

Misaki then broke the hug, wiped the remnants of tears and stared straight to Natsume, ready to fight against his questions.

" I wish it were that easy but he just can't forgive me," and she patted Mikan's head.

" Thank you Mikan-chan and Natsume-kun, I'm feeling better," she added. It was true she was feeling better but for no particular or definite reason. Who wouldn't feel better facing your friends who understand you than arguing with somebody who loathes you?

After having her emotions be settled, Mikan asked Misaki.

" Senpai, do you not love Tsubasa-senpai the way he loves you?"

Before she was able to comprehend every word of her sentence, Natsume had continued.

" Or you're just too afraid to show it?" acting like he was also an expert in this thing.

Misaki was like thrown into the empty, murky, cold space. Guilt and loneliness was written all over her face. And once again the thread of affliction that has been beleaguering Tsubasa shifted its direction..and now its target was none other than Misaki. However this time, it seems it doesn't serve as a plague anymore but a solution..a realization. It is now stitching the shattered pieces of Misaki's mind and of course her heart.

Now, she knew it. It is both. She loves him but she's too afraid to show it. Realizing the fact, the truth..Misaki smiled.

" Now I know..thank you..," she imparted them radiantly.

" You better do what should be done..now…_senpai,_" Natsume advised her..like, you know being touched by their story…but he didn't expect himself uttering that word.."senpai"..Good thing, he managed to mention it in a low voice. Crap, he still needed to protect his reputation.

Mikan looked gently at Natsume, happy to know, he's also concern. She also heard that word. Now she could tease Natsume…until he becomes vexed..to hell.

" Yes, senpai..it's never too late," she then added.

Replete with so much confidence and strength, Misaki said," Well, then..I better get going..Ja'ne..see you later!" and off she ran.

Natsume then faced Mikan and smirked.

" Now, Polka… shall we proceed?" offering his hand and slightly bowing. Since when did he learn to be a gentleman infront of girls? No..infront of Mikan.

Mikan could just giggle.

" Yeah, sure," she again grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

Misaki, finally getting out of the hell confusion, ran and ran and ran like there was no tomorrow. She needed to fix everything. She needed to kill the cowardice that has been enveloping her because it was never too late, she only needed to face her fate.

Somehow, she was scared, time might not wait.

After short hours, she still couldn't find him. Few more minutes and the clock would finally toll at 12 midnight. Few more realizations and actions, and Misaki would now be able to call it a day if she would be able to accomplish one last task..to talk to Tsubasa.

It was evident, she was really in a struggle to race against the clock and she would do everything to win. Hell, she didn't even bother to stop for a while and care to thing if she has eaten already and at least grab a muffin if not yet. But she didn't. Her feet didn't seem to ache since they were really willing to run at a full speed undyingly.

Not only that, after she had sought for Tsubasa around and inside the High School building, after opening the unlocked doors without even knocking just to get a glimpse of this blue-haired guy, the condition was just there betraying her.

Unable to contain its burden, its moroseness of what is currently happening, the clouds decided to slump and let its tears be dropped…a deadweight. And there, Misaki slowed down her pace or else she would be bathing in pools of mud.

Luckily, tiredness managed to sting Misaki and damaged her insane brain that time. She finally stopped and for once panted for air and gave herself ample time to replenish her lungs with oxygen.

The next thing she knew, that day can no longer be called like that..again. She failed to do the last task. She maintained her tranquility not wanting to give in at the brink of crying. She had enough of crying. She started to walk unsure where to go..just walking shambling off the ground. And then a destiny call echoed through her ears. She quickly searched for the source of the voice, because it was familiar..yes, that would be the accomplishment of the last thing she needed to do that time, the thing she longed to fulfill. With her right hand touching the surface of their building, since she was having her way around it, she was stopped within her track when she heard a conversation.

" You'll have a mission outside any time of the week. You need to kill the leader of this R group and if possible destroy all of them. They are a threat to the academy," Persona commanded Tsubasa with his deleterious voice..very officious.

" I don't kill," Tsubasa snapped.

" Now you will," Persona simply stated. Tsubasa can do nothing about it.

" And if I won't do this mission?" he enquired..hoping there was a way out of this new problem.

" Then, they will be involved. Don't forget you're already in my class, the dangerous ability class so it means everyone around you will also be put to danger," Persona rebuked. He didn't want any objection coming from his students. They must learn their lesson. They need to live with the fact that life is not always easy..especially for students like them whose freedom can no longer be retrieved..as long as they are being incarcerated and manipulated.

With that last warn, he left Tsubasa. And Tsubasa could only clench his fist imagining Persona was there inside his palms..being crushed to tidbits.

Misaki forgot her real intention for searching Tsubasa for so long. She needed to confront him again because of another external reason. Guess, it can't be helped.

She approached him quickly. She stood behind Tsubasa.

" You're already in the Dangerous Abilty class?" with her tone fumed and tainted.

Tsubasa was alarmed. How many times does he have to deal with Misaki, getting angry at him, like she cares?

He decided not to reply. This conversation would end pointlessly.

She continued," And you didn't even tell me?" begging for an answer..actually for two answers.

Tsubasa still ignored her like she was just a spirit wandering around and asking for someone sensible to talk to. Well, he could never be that someone.

He started to walk away though not oblivious of the fact that Misaki would pursue him.

This time, Misaki didn't use her feet nor her hands to catch up and stop Tsubasa. She used words…words.

" Say, Tsubasa, did you even consider me as your best friend?" trying to aim that point..his point of weakness.

Successfully, these words stopped Tsubasa.

Of course, he did. And does?

" What do you think?" he couldn't simply reply and so he replied with a question.

" Tsubasa! Can't you be straight to the point! I've spent my whole time searching for you not to have this kind of conversation! And now, this! You're hiding all the things I should know!" Now she was acting like that not for the sake of her feelings but for the sake of their friendship if it is still existing. She needed to save it no matter what happens. Their friendship serves as the foundation of a new beginning if only Tsubasa cares. Misaki couldn't just throw it away.

" If I told you this thing, then what? All of you will be worried, and I hate that! And does it even matter, huh?" he rejoined..hoping this would shut Misaki out.

But Misaki could never be defeated that easily. They both have their pride and dignity. One couldn't just let it down.

" Still, it's our right to know, especially me! Everything about you matters to me! You hear that? Everything!" she countered. She had to make him believe that she really is worried and concerned of him because that is the truth.

Tsubasa didn't want to succumb to those kind and touching words of Misaki. He can never be sure that Misaki was not lying, that she might only be doing that to regain the lost friendship, because how much he wanted it back, things would never really be the same again.

" I know you were my best friend but you needed not to know all of my businesses! I was transferred the month after _"that day"_ and do you think I had the guts to even inform you?"

By mentioning "that day" Misaki knew what he meant..that confession day..the heartbreaking day.

" I needed to know all, Tsubasa! I care for you! Can't you see?" she was still on the process of changing Tsubasa's distorted mind.

Before being completely enthralled by Misaki's enticing words, he needed to go away quickly. And he bid her goodbye by this:

"Don't cover your lies by your words, it's no use,"

He dashed away and for the umpteenth time, she was unable to chase him. She was again losing the strength and confidence she was able to regain lately.

She was completely all-in.

**There..sorry…I was not able to edit this..i was really rushing…I think my grammar really sucks..sorry for that..i'm still learning.! Kindly point out them..thank you!**


	5. Warmth

**Ok..at last I am able to update! Please read and leave a review. There are some NatsuMikan scenes here. I just can't help it since it's really a part of the story. Kindly read until the end. Thank you!**

Misaki, very very tired these past few days because of "their predicament", still managed to welcome another day filled with the new sets of unknown shapes of her destiny.

However, attending their classes and their S.A class was out of this welcoming event. She decided not to since she thought nothing in this class thing would be of help to her situation right now, especially if Tsubasa would still be around after their conversation, and hell..that dangerous mission he was entering.

Instead of going back to bed, she just put on her uniform and went somewhere only she could find her own self.

During S.A class, Mikan was pondering of what happened in the Ball and the thing was, her senpais' situation was really tugging at the back of her mind and she was really persistent to know what happened..if even the slightest change had become a part of their history. She sought for Misaki to confirm her trances. Disappointment filled that empty space of her when she saw no sign of who she was looking for. She fidgeted and fidgeted that she could no longer listen and concentrate to what Noda-chi was saying whether it be sensible or not, related to the present or not..she didn't care.

Moreover, there was something she also needed to ask her. It was an emergency.

To seal her worries, after class, she ran and ran looking for Misaki. Luckily, Misaki, after taking a short nap beside the bushes at her 'place', decided to wander aimlessly..exploring the area…until they met.

Mikan was really panting for air while Misaki was on the state of shock. To think that she was assuming only she could be there and then Mikan appeared?

Geez, what was she thinking of anyway? It was not like she owned that certain area.

" Mikan-chan, any problem?" she inquired her though she knew a bit of what Mikan was thinking. She needed to conceive of something reasonable. She just couldn't spill the bad news. Mikan didn't need to be involved.

" I should also be asking you the same question," she stated clearly waiting for Misaki to get the hint.

And then everything seemed to be muffled. Mikan had to break it.

" Have you talked to Tsubasa-senpai already?" she should be asking more questions, bombarding Misaki because of her excitement but with the first impression of Misaki's face, she better not. Misaki would be happy telling her what happened if it was really good than wandering around in a strange place perhaps carrying a bad news.

" Oh.. weren't able to talk," Misaki replied shortly. She could have stuttered if she were to make it longer.

And Mikan could just believe this. Maybe it was better to let them have some privacy for a while.

" Is that so? Don't worry, a lot of chances is still on your way," and then she beamed just like what she always does.

Misaki could simply say thank you to her. She knew she understood.

Suddenly, she noticed Mikan's emanating aura was kind of twisted, stained with something she couldn't describe though it was really evident on her face. Mikan beamed and in a minute, her mood was grim.

Really, emotions could be explained clearly by your face.

And in another minute, her inference was supported by Mikan's words.

Like emotions, words could also describe your feelings.

Tch. When everything seems to be falling apart, you can only realize you're becoming metaphorical each day.

" Ne, Senpai..you know what.. I'm feeling something is wrong," she murmured head bowed. It was audible enough for Misaki, the movement of her lips was the only thing she needed to see to hear those.."something is wrong."

And then she felt uneasy..could it be….

"What feeling?" facing her anxiety.

" Like Tsubasa-senpai is going away, a lot of times, he missed our S.A class like he's no longer a part of it. I rarely see him..only last night when I had a clear vision of his face again. We rarely talk and I miss him," she felt like she just wanted to outburst her feelings and tears to Misaki but the timing wasn't right. She knew how hard Misaki and Tsubasa's situation was and that she shouldn't be adding to Misaki's priorities right now.

Still, she just couldn't help it. Tsubasa is like a real brother to her. Like Misaki, she also cares for him and she also demands him to tell her everything she needs to know. But Tsubasa was really unaware of everything. He seemed to be close.

Misaki was trembling. She didn't know if she had the rights to tell Mikan everything she had just learned to know from the last night. Or it was better if Tsubasa would be the one to tell it frankly. But she could see Mikan's lonely face and she just wanted to end it immediately.

But she couldn't.

Oh..Tsubasa is really a heartbreaker. Making everyone else worried of him..especially the two girls he loves the most. Worse, he did nothing but to run away.

" Don't worry…maybe he's just busy or lazy..or you 're on a war right now so maybe he prefers not to see my face..ne?" and then she complemented that dull reason with her fake giggle.

Nothing was even funny about it.

" I hope so..senpai..," she sighed.

" I'll go now senpai..i still have to be tutored by Hotaru in Math," she added then she scurried back to the direction she traversed lately. It was two o'clock in the afternoon already and as usual with students- overloaded with assignments like Mikan.

Misaki could just fixed her eyes on her retreating back. She couldn't even say goodbye.

She then continued walking..walking..walking until the shadows of her destiny for that day casted the figure of Tsubasa, the person she needed to see that time.

Without any hesitation, she tried to catch up with him. She knew how much he hated her but he should also know how much Mikan would hate him if he wouldn't let himself know the result of his strained independence.

Tsubasa could hear footsteps approaching him from his back…running footsteps. He turned around and saw Misaki causing her to halt from her running.

Misaki was about to forget her real intentions of approaching Tsubasa for the third time, because as much as possible she wanted to settle everything first between them but external reasons couldn't be simply left behind especially this one..an intricate reason and problem. And so she had to sacrifice.

" What do you want this time?" Tsubasa snapped, almost shouting to extreme contempt.

Misaki couldn't form the words he needed to hear because of his tone of voice. Why is he always dour whenever he sees her? Does her face contribute to their critical situation?

Gezz..Why does she have to torture herself by getting near Tsubasa when she knows how much he hates her like hell?

But it was a must for them to talk.

She stared deeply into his eyes..sharp. And then she sighed.

" Mikan.." she muttered.

" What happened to her?" Tsubasa panicked.

And as what she expected, Tsubasa's hardhearted mood changed to a concerned one. As much as Misaki wanted not to feel it, she felt pain. Mentioning the name Mikan freed Tsubasa out of his firm cage. This was the Tsubasa from before. And Mikan was the one who made it back.

And for a while, she wished she were Mikan because she knew the name Misaki is already detested by the one she loves..and it really kills her.

She needed to be strong in facing him..for Mikan's sake but her feelings couldn't help taking over her whole thinking and feeling.

She ended up being frail in the eyes of Tsubasa.

" She's already noticing something..your secret..she feels like you're moving away from everybody..from her..," she put everything in plain words. As much as possible no implied feelings other than her concern of Mikan.

Tsubasa thought for awhile and glanced back at Misaki.

" And you want me to tell her?" he asked for her advice in a casual voice. Hmm..at last.

" It is a must. She needs to know you're already in the same class with Natsume, that you're no longer a S.A student..as soon as possible," and then she gave him a nod.

All of a sudden, Mikan appeared.

She never meant to eavesdrop but maybe it was imperative for her to know. Actually, she was just on her way of going back when suddenly she seemed to have a memory gap and became unfamiliar of the place so she decided to go back to Misaki to ask for help and then she found this.

" Tsubasa-senpai..you're… How dare you? I thought I am your kouhai yet you never told me a thing..you said you wouldn't leave me..and you just lied to me?" she was furious. no words could describe exactly what she was feeling.

" Sorry Mikan-chan..but I need to protect you, I can't let you know, you'll be hurt and you'll think I'm already leaving you..but that's not true..i just need to do this..please understand," begging for forgiveness.

Misaki wanted to interfere but she was afraid everything would be spoiled if she were to meddle. She knew her position.

" I hate you!" Mikan screamed as she cried..not really wanting to believe her senpai's words.

She dashed away..very very fast. She didn't want to be followed by Tsubasa nor Misaki.

She needed space and time to accept everything she had just come to learn.

* * *

Instead of going to her room, she proceeded to Natsume's. She knocked hard.

Natsume was inside and got irritated by that knockings. He painted a hard face when he opened the door..but then he saw Mikan crying.

Before he was able to ask her what happened, Mikan had her way.

" You..are..a..liar..," she took few steps forward challenging Natsume for a "bloody fight" figuratively.

"What?" Natsume asked calmly.

" Why didn't you tell me, Tsubasa-senpai is already in your class? that he's already one of you?" she raised her voice in so much pain and hatred . She was really enveloped by hatred.

"I'm sorry…I know he doesn't want you to be hurt and I also don't want to see you in pain.. I'm, really sorry," he wanted to hug her tight to let her know how true his words are..but Mikan wouldn't want that.

" You fooled me! All this time, I'm being deceived! I hate you, Natsume!" she told him like what she told Tsubasa. Yeah..she really couldn't take hold of her emotion.

And Natsume could just be submissive. He was willing to set aside his pride for the woman he loves.

" Hate me as much as you want, but I'm really sorry..really…," Natsume told her. He was also hurt by her words. It was not easy to simply accept every harsh word she said especially the word hate because that is very contrary to what he feels for her. And he wa€ getting afraid that..that hate might be permanent; that it may replace the love Mikan feels for him though he really doesn't have any evidence of Mikan's love for him. Still..it didn't matter to him that time. He needed forgiveness from Mikan.

He wanted to leave her first to have some time. He knew he couldn't be of help.

He was to leave when Mikan hugged him. Mikan is very much familiar with Natsume's emotions and she sensed that Natsume was in pain because of her.

Natsume was supposed to be out of this. She knew Natsume only wants nothing but to protect her. And she also knew, deep in her heart..that Tsubasa has the same reason, but she couldn't help hating everyone.

" Gomen…it's not your fault..i know..i just don't know how to handle this..i'm..," she enlightened Natsume as she sniffled.

Natsume hugged her back. It is love their feeling..not hatred. He smiled.

" No..Mikan..it's okay..just cry as much as you want..and you don't have to apologize..everything will be fine," he reassured her.

* * *

After the minor chaos that had just happened, Misaki could only stare at Tsubasa while he was staring at the ground. Misaki knew how depressed Tsubasa was. She wanted to comfort him but Tsubasa wouldn't allow that. She took the chance of getting near him since he seemed to be unaware of her presence anymore. She was about to lay her hand on his shoulder to give him a pat of concern but Tsubasa suddenly shoved her hand away making a shrill sound of refusal of any help coming from Misaki.

Misaki had to stop any intention she had.

" Sorry..," all she could say.

Again..sorry. Tsubasa grew to hate that word. He really hates hearing that word coming from Misaki. Know why? Because it is very lucid to him that Misaki never did something to be apologized of. He was the one at fault yet he couldn't admit it.

" I actually..don't care," he said in a meaningless way.

Don't care of what? Of whom?- he didn't know.

Misaki took another chance. Like Mikan said, she has plenty of chances..she has to grab them one by one.

" Tsubasa, I forgive you for not telling me your secret in one condition, you would never leave..we will talk" she reprimanded him like a mother…hands on her waist.

Tsubasa faced her with a riled glare.

" What do you think are we doing? And I never apologized, watch your words," he responded in a callous voice.

He was back to being a heartless man again.

Misaki could only repeat her lines from her yesterdays and she wouldn't stop until all of this be inculcated to Tsubasa's mind and be understood by his heart.

" But, Tsubasa! You keep on running away! And so what, if you have those special feelings! Would that be a good reason for ignoring me? Tsubasa please..i need you to listen!" she demanded him..hoping it would finally pinch and break Tsubasa's coldness to her.

" 'I can't love you more that that, I've treated you as a twin brother, eversince' you shouldn't be forgetting your lines," he sneered.

He then started to walk.

" And so?" Misaki retorted. Yeah.. So what? That is a part of their past already.

"Does the past need to be the basis of the present?

Tsubasa replied while walking, " Don't you think it would be awkward, if I'll keep on staying near? You really don't know how I feel," wishing Misaki would suppress. He was tired of every conversation he had with Misaki.

"Why can't you just accept the fact that we can no longer bring back what we had and we can't also start a new one? Everything now is impossible for us. You just have to accept it," he added..really assaulting Misaki with these apparently harmless words.

Tsubasa was getting too far from Misaki and so she ran to catch up with him.

" Why..tell me..Tsubasa..Have you even accepted it already?" almost hitting his point of weakness.

She immediately continued for she was afraid of Tsubasa's answer. It might be a yes; it would make it harder for her to accept everything.

" Tsubasa..I..really..," oh my..she was cut off again.

Tsubasa decided to face her again and glowered at her.

" I said stop! I've been telling you to stop talking to me! Why the hell do you insist, when you don't even understand a thing, huh? What's your intention? To play fool of me?"

With that, because he knew she would rejoin and tail him again, he stepped on Misaki's shadow and wrote there: Stand for two hours.

Heck, he was becoming a ruthless beast. Misaki could have escaped by doubling herself and let her doppelganger stop Tsubasa, since she has good reflexes, but she decided not to.

Now she could feel the wholeness of Tsubasa's loathe to her.

" You really don't want me to follow you, huh?" she questioned him in a very very distressing tone.

Tsubasa avoided hearing Misaki's words because he knew very well that her emotions could control him anytime. It was better to play safe..though it was already a torment to her.

" I'm no longer the Tsubasa you knew, I've changed and this is a proof," he said as he stood having finished writing the command.

" Okay, if this would ease your anger," she managed to steal a look from Tsubasa and she smiled at him. Yes, because she had just realized that any action of Tsubasa counts: good or bad, heartwarming or heartbreaking, is important to her. Looking at the positive side, everything indicates a progress.

In her heart she knows, Tsubasa still cares for her. Because if not, then he wouldn't waste his time talking and arguing with her.

That was what she had to believe.

Tsubasa was taken aback and decided to run again. He didn't want to have an additional word form Misaki.

Misaki could just speak to herself.

" Well, I just insist because I've also changed Tsubasa..and I just want you back..even only for a friend,"

The smile faded out as the tears faded in and flowed.

Tsubasa went to his room and lied down on his bed, facing the ceiling with a broken bulb that symbolizes his life right now as well as his heart. He was really guilty for doing that to Misaki. He could never hurt her but he just did and has been doing. He could go back now and erase the command but he didn't have the strength to have another talk with Misaki.

Anyway, Misaki could manage, she's strong. That is one factor that made him fall in love with Misaki.

Little did he know, day by day, Misaki's strength had been diminishing because of him.

After a little musing, he looked at the clock, it was already three o'clock. Hell, they had a one-hour fight?

He unexpectedly took a nap.

Suddenly, it rained very hard. Obviously, Misaki was dripping wet and there..she felt s€o cold. She coughed and sneezed because no one had seen her yet. All she could do was to cuddle and snuggle to herself, rubbing her palms for friction that never even sparked warmth for her. She was there standing for one hour and forty-five minutes.

Because of the loud flashing of the raindrops, Tsubasa woke up twenty minutes before five o' clock and saw that the clouds were thick and dark, and the rain was really like cats and dogs..just like Misaki's tears. Misaki! He remembered what he had done.

He then ran at full speed without getting any umbrella or wearing any coat. He tried to find a shortcut to where he left her because he really couldn't identify the particular place. Bushes were the same anywhere he went.

Finally, he saw her there..still standing, welcoming the rain. He approached her knowing and seeing that she seemed to be fine. He didn't know that Misaki loves rain.

The rain had just stopped and they were both drenched.

Misaki sensed someone and face to face, Tsubasa appeared infront of her, the spell casted was broken already since it was already five o'clock.

Misaki sighed in delightness seeing Tsubasa came back for her.

" Tsubasa..you came back..," she let him know that she was really in a bliss, though she was becoming pallid.

" The command was broken already..you should go back to your room now," he was really worried of her. She might get sick. He wanted to walk her to her room but considering their situation..better not. After all, she could manage.

" Uhm..yeah…thank you..," she told him weakly.

Then Tsubasa turned around, his back facing Misaki and took one step when he felt like something had just fallen or someone had leaned on his back. No other person was there except Misaki.

" Quit it, I said don't follow me," he scolded her..not facing her. Her warmth, as much as he longed for it, was highly irregular.

No reply came.

" I said..," he repeated, then he attempted to turn around and let himself be freed from Misaki's leaning but he was shocked to see her limp body already on its way of hitting the ground.

He was able to catch her and then cradled her into his arms while kneeling on the ground. He scrutinized her. She was very pale. He touched her face and she was very warm.

A doctor could say she had a fever that time and her temperature was already rising to 39°C.

" Hey! Hey! Misaki!" he nudged her gently. He was now panicking much than when he panicked for Mikan.

If only Misaki knew this, then she wouldn't have to suffer anymore and wouldn't wish to be Mikan.

She heard her name mentioned by Tsubasa and again she smiled.

" Sorry…don't worry about me," her voice was quivering. She gradually opened her eyes and looked at Tsubasa cordially.

She then lifted her left hand and without any faltering, she touched Tsubasa's cheek and it didn't feel cold. He didn't refuse. It felt good.

She knew it wasn't because of her hand's warmth but it's Tsubasa's warmth for her. Few more steps, everything would be back to the way it was before.

But for now, she just had to give up. Her hand flaccidly fell to her side as she closed her eyes again.

**There..i actually should have submitted this chapter last week..but I didn't finish typing this..and something's wrong with our keyboard that I had to edit every word with the S. Tell me, don't you think it's getting boring? Anyway..i still love this..because it's my story..my effort. **


	6. Courage

**Sorry for the oh-so-long update..i was busy with my studies and honestly, I no longer know what's next… I mean based on my plot..this would end in around 2 chapters..but then I decided to insert something..and this is it! Still I think it's nearing its end unless you give me suggestions. I don't want to end this yet actually but I'm really running out of ideas.**

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" _Can you forgive me?" he was nowhere. Where was he? Where was she? Where were they? It seemed like everything was not living in reality. It was like they were in a vortex of something Misaki barely recognized._

" _Misaki..you know how much I am sorry for everything…," he continued as he swam apparently farther from Misaki. Misaki couldn't speak out a word as a reply to him. She was totally baffled by the atmosphere they were in. As time passed by, Tsubasa's appearance to her eyes was gradually vanishing into specks of unknown dusts. She was completely losing her vision._

_A glaring light flowed coming to her sight. She was almost blinded that before she decided to let her eyes give in with that dazzling light, she screamed Tsubasa's name. She was hoping hat a hand would somehow pull her out of who-knows-where-was-she-headed._

_But nothing happened until she progressively opened her eyes..adjusting with the new scene she had just entered. Now it was pitched-dark and she put every effort she could give her eyes just to see someone aside from her but it was a failure. Suddenly a spotlight. It was shone upon Tsubasa wearing a stoic face. She could sense that he was repressing any emotion hinting either fear or pain. She was about to go near him but was stopped in full flow when out of the corners of her eyes, she saw something everybody would fear upon seeing…a gun. The worse part was..it was not just a gun laid on the floor..someone owned it, someone was holding it. And the worst event was it was not only held by someone..it was pointed at someone..at Tsubasa._

_She wasn't sure what to do next. She kept her fears intact but she could not regain her full consciousness to make her move out of that position and do something. The moment her legs started to gain kinetic movement, it was already too late._

_The gun was cocked and without any dithering from the user, triggered it. The bullet shot Tsubasa's abdomen part. And in a moment, he collapsed onto the ground._

_Misaki looked at the killer waveringly but was more frightened to see that the guy was covered in all black. How could she ever identify him? And then he disappeared with the gun._

_Misaki couldn't approach Tsubasa for she knew what should she expect to see. She wouldn't be able to suffer the pain that could be inflicted on her if she were to go nearer. She could just stand there with her whole body trembling and shed tears._

_Those silent tears acquired voice..letting out a sniffle..sob..and then a weep._

" _Tsubasa!"_

_

* * *

_

Misaki then woke up, panting hard and sweating profusely. She quickly identified where was she and was neither relieved nor frustrated to see that she was in the clinic. Tsubasa quickly brought her to the clinic as soon as she lost her consciousness. And as he was running to the clinic(that was like a hospital), he was cursing himself under his breath. Luckily, when he reached the clinic, it was available and no other patient was there. Misaki was then given an immediate care by the nurse. Tsubasa wished to stay longer to observe Misaki's condition but he couldn't withstand seeing the girl he loved almost lying lifeless because of him.

Now he knew very well that he still cared for her a lot…why should he withhold the truth anyway? Oh right…because it was awkward for him to still stay near Misaki when he knew Misaki wouldn't be able to return those feelings.

So he had to go.

Misaki spared few seconds to recall what happened why was she there. And then it hit her. She frantically searched for Tsubasa but he was of course absent. What was she expecting anyway? That he would be there to stay by her side until she opened her eyes. " Stop dreaming!" she chided herself.

But disregarding her own benefit and self-completion, she really needed to see him right at that moment. She needed to reassure that he was safe, that nothing bad happened, that he was still living because if not….she would rather stay asleep forever.

She called for the nurse and asked if she could already be dismissed from the clinic since she believed that it was just a mild fever..no infection or complications as what doctors say. But the nurse persisted to have her stay there for one night. Misaki wouldn't want to argue anymore. Anyway what could she do? Escape from the clinic? Forget it.

She stayed still the whole night not even letting the notion of having a one-minute rest. How could she let that idea to permeate her mind if it was completely infused with the instinct that Tsubasa might be in danger and she might be too late?

She just prayed and prayed and prayed.

She must admit she also wanted and needed visitors that time. Why? Because she could obtain information from them of Tsubasa's whereabouts…of how he was doing…or anything that concerned him. But it was better not to have any visitors at all which didn't mean that no one cares for her but rather no one had known the condition she was in. That was good. At least they wouldn't be worried or would make a big fuss about it.

Yet sometimes, isn't it good to know that someone is worried about you? Because that only means that person cares for you.

Maybe in her case, it was not the case.

* * *

At 8 o'clock in the morning the next day, she waited impatiently for the nurse to enter her room, so she coul already b given the permission to leave the clinic. Ten minutes after 8, the nurse did what she wished. As soon as the nurse said yes, she disentangled herself from those dextrose and wirings and all that hospital stuffs, and then she jumped out of the bed, still wearing the hospital gown, and then proceeded to Tsubasa's room.

Sadly, it was locked. She remained calm. She couldn't panic. It wouldn't be of help.

She waited hoping that he was just out. Yes..out..because they had classes..and in 2 hours..classes would be dismissed. She waited for two hours but still no sign of Tsubasa. Or maybe this time in their S. A Room. Yes, that was it! She presumed he would go there since she was absent. Remember? He would likely to go there if she wasn't there. She ran towards their room. But she decide to peek only not to reveal herself infront of the others, or else..they would know what happen. She peeked and sulked to see no trace of Tsubasa.

"Right, where is he?"

How about in the Dangerous Abiliy's headquarters? She doubted so. She knew how much Tsubasa despised that place.

As she was walking towards her own room, she passed by Natsume and Mikan.

" Misaki-senpai, why are you wearing a hospital gown?" Mikan asked with a worried expression plastered across her young face. She seemed to forget everything that had just happened- the commotion the other day ago..the revelation.

Natsume threw a disgusted look to her..like annoying her.

" What do you think? Of course, she has been in the hospital," he rolled his eyes.

Mikan just let out her tongue and faced him with that kiddie expression.

" Misaki-senpai..were you really..?"

"Hai…hai…now Mikan-chan..don't you worry…I'm fine..i was just stressed..that was why," she chuckled. It felt relaxing.

She crossed her elbows and pouted, " Mou, I think you were stressed because of Tsubasa-senpai..ugh..how long is he planning to hurt you?"

Undeniably, Misaki was half appalled by Mikan's expressions. Usually, when someone made a mistake on you, you wouldn't be able to forgive him easily and just forget everything. You would probably avoid topics involving him, for the sake of not mentioning his name or every little thing that would remind you of him.

But Mikan seemed to move on so easily.

With the slight puzzled look Misaki was wearing, Mikan decided to speak.

" I've forgiven Tsubasa-senpai, I know that he just did that to protect me just like Natsume, but I won't be able to forgive him fully if he continues to hurt you..okay now..where is he? I'm gonna reprimand him now!" Mikan said in a childish tone. She never grew up.

Misaki could just paint a little smile. She then asked Natsume.

"Natsume-kun, have you by any chance seen him in your ah..class?" expecting for a YES answer.

" I haven't seen him since yesterday..actually," he said as a matter- of –fact.

"He didn't attend his classes, too..he was not there in your classroom," Mikan rejoined.

" And he wasn't there in the S.A either," Misaki added gloomily.

"Anyway..it's fine by me…I should be taking my rest than wasting my time finding him when he doesn't even want to show up,"

"Okay..kouhais..i'm leaving..see you!" she waved at them with a travesty of relief and confidence in her actions, decisions and choice of words.

Opposite the "Taking my rest" she was saying, she took her time waiting instead.

Just imagine, waiting for several hours without any perception if the one you're waiting for is now on his way, or maybe he has a change of mind and then backed-out or maybe he will no longer come.

Are you still willing to wait?

"I'll wait no matter what," Misaki once again set her mind and self on that goal.

But she couldn't wait while she was inside of her room..what did she think would happen? Tsubasa would knock on her door just to inform her that he's already there? Nonsense.

She then stepped outside their building. Perhaps she would see Tsubasa in his way to the entrance door. Okay, quit that. What if he took the back door?

Anyway, she chose to stay outside and wander around..but not too far from their building since she was afraid she might get lost.

For a moment, she held her breath. He was there…sleeping under a tree.

Hell, to think she waited for hours inside only to see him in a couple of minutes outside?

No efforts should be wasted, she thought. So, she walked slowly towards him not really wanting to disturb him from his sleep. Carelessly, she had stepped on a branch and obviously it was cracked broken.

Tsubasa had his eyes open in just a blink..like a soldier alert and ready for any battle.

And his reflex action automatically helped him to stand and once again get away from this predicament.

How long can he still do this? How long can he still ignore the rising of the dead feelings? How long can he still live in the state of denial? How long can he still endure the pain of hurting the girl he loves? How long?

As long as everything's not yet all right.

The striking question is, when will everything be all right?

Is he ready to do his part in the process of making everything all right?

That…can't be decided now.

Misaki was tired of this scene. She was tired of using her mechanisms just to prevent a senseless chapter in her life.

Yet…

" I was so scared..you know why…?because I dreamt of you being shot by someone..and then lying dead," she said between her sobs as she hugged him tightly before he could even make his first move of shunning.

"I was not able to sleep worrying that any time my dream could turn into reality..i searched for you but it seemed that you never wanted to appear…why are you so far away?" she continued..her face buried on Tsubasa's chest..her hands creasing the back of his uniform.

"Look…we're not-" Tsubasa finally had the mind to speak but was cut off.

" Let me finish first…Tsubasa..why are you running away? The questions are always the same, Tsubasa, but you never gave a reasonable answer and you never gave me the chance to tell you what I am feeling..," she trailed off..giving her all-out effort to stop her sniffling but she really couldn't.

"Tsubasa…I may have been blind before..but now I know…we both feel the same,"

She faced him..eye to eye. No more turning back.

" I can no longer treat you as my best friend as well,"

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** review! Sorry for the grammar..again not proofread. If for you, it's already becoming "OA"…like mushy..fluffy..whatever they call that…better point that out..thank you!:)**

**I'll be publishing my TsubaSaki oneshot soon! Please continue supporting my TsubaSaki !**


	7. Hope

**Woah! Hello, readers! Still there? I'm so sorry if I had given you the idea of abandoning this story..i've not updated for three months..i think. Well, I really ran out of ideas for this story but surely, I would finish this no matter what.**

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_" I can no longer treat you as my best friend as well"_

Tsubasa didn't know what to say or how to act. Was he getting the point of Misaki right? Or was he just assuming that the meaning of her statement was what he was yearning for?

If he had decided much earlier, he would have hugged Misaki. He would have apologized for being a masochist, for giving up their friendship and for letting her down. Misaki would have then cried because of overflowing happiness. They would have started living a life together.

But unreality mingles with reality. And often, reality prevails. Unreality is always left out.

And so it did in their story.

One more thing, the problem in a twisted love story is that aside from it following a current of warped channel is the extra characters who never failed to give dissatisfactions and frustrations and problems to the leading ones. Why do antagonists have their roles in this play by the way?

Persona suddenly appeared from a tree. He might have been watching the scene and might have been enjoying not because of what he was seeing but because of what has yet to be seen.

" _It would be a dramatic ending" he thought._

" Oh..how sweet..wish you a happy ending," he said. Malevolence was evident in his voice. He was like suggesting something..giving them a hint that what he said was the truth, only he would interfere and turn the world upside down..and ruin them.

Tsubasa was quick. He suddenly shoved Misaki away by her shoulders. And then he caught glimpse of Misaki's eyes. It was full of agony. She gave him a look he would never forget. The look was so sober..the feeling of rejection and being pushed away.

Of course for girls, it really brings us down to the dirt when the man we love cast us off in that way. It's like you're someone to be avoided for you are a wretched creature.

But Tsubasa, never meant that. His heart told him not to push her away. But, if Persona gets the hang of them being together, he might do something on her and he was afraid of not being able to protect her.

This is the only way to protect her..to keep her safe. He has to shun her.

He can't speak right now because of Misaki's expression. Inside, he was blaming himself so hard that if possible, would punch his own face..but that would be..hell…insane.

Yet he needed to speak to bear out this "I don't like her" thing for Persona's eyes. It was for Persona not to touch Misaki if he were to know that Tsubasa really never cared about her.

"It's not what you think, we don't feel the same way anymore," he tried not to show any hint of sadness bubbling inside of him. He needed to disguise as someone who's cold-blooded and cruel that would have the nerve to reject and break a girl's heart.

" Really, but isn't it you love her?" Persona continued asking with the purpose of making them admit the truth so he can do his move. Yeah, he was like tantalizing Tsubasa infront of Misaki.

" That was before. Everything changes. And why do you care? Tch. Envious, aren't you? Because nobody has confessed to you yet," Tsubasa then glared at him. But for the nth time, he was really sorry for that..he never changed. He's still the Tsubasa, Misaki considered as best friend and has grown to love. His love for Misaki never changed as well. It's still the love that driven him to insanity, driving himself away from her and now, making her far from him.

And the least he could know at that time was Misaki looking at him with an unreadable face..tear-stained.

" Don't fool around! How dare you say that?" Persona was successfully insulted by this that made him forget all about Tsubasa and Misaki…deeming their relationship as well..extinct.

" You better do your mission now! Before you got into my nerve!" with that he sharply disappeared into thin air.

Now, they are alone.

Tsubasa would want to say "sorry" but what if Persona was still there? All the pretense he put up would surely crumble down and Misaki's life would be in grave danger and he would be there without being able to protect her.

He'd rather shove her away knowing she'll be safe than letting her stay with the chance of dying in his arms.

Tsubasa started walking away..not expecting Misaki to stop him because of what he had just said.

" Guess I was too late," Misaki let out a small voice. She was already enervating due to the recent condition.

She completely lost her way back to him. She couldn't even have him as a best fiend now. He no longer needs her.

She got it now. She, too, has to stop from clinging around with him when he never wants her to be there. She, too, has to make a distance between them.

She, too, has to suppress whatever feeling she has for him.

Tsubasa didn't reply. He wouldn't want her to suffer more by his words. He hated this. Right that moment, he was thinking of just dying than seeing Misaki's cheerful disposition die because of him.

And as always, in times like this, what could he do? Walk away. Simple.

Misaki really was tired out of all this stuffs! For how many times has she been doing this? Talking to Tsubasa, watching him walk away, and then stopping him, having a confrontation..seeing herself hurt.

For how many chapters has she been like this? Numb of all kinds of pain..trying to withstand all of them by herself even knowing that there wouldn't be someone to catch her when she falls.

How long has she been deadened by her foolish will to regain their lost friendship?

How long has she been stupid? How long?

How long is she going to take this? Can she still make it far with this condition? And is she even allowed to pick up again and continue what has been started? Would she even reach a happy ending for that?

Never will she know.

Yeah..she might just as well do what Tsubasa does. He seems to be apathetic of the current situation anyway. And how does he do that? Simply by walking away.

"_If this is what you want, Tsubasa,"_ Misaki thought having her final glimpse on Tsubasa who was not even facing her.

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Tsubasa got no more time to brood over things, even over this kind of thing. He knew he needed to accomplish the hell mission given by Persona. He needed to go outside the academy and kill the targets, even if that whole thing was still messing up with his mind. How could he kill when his hands were not designed to be tainted by blood?

But if he wouldn't do it, then the lives of the people around him would be at the edge of a death cliff. And if that happens, how can he be so sure that he'll be at the bottom to catch them all?

He can't even save himself from drowning.

So, he prepared himself and did what was to be done.

By the time the clock signaled 12 Midnight, he was already all set to engage in the battlefield.

He's ready to face death..without even accomplishing much.

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Misaki, for the first time, didn't shed any of that tiny droplets she has let flow out of her eyes for some time. She has dried them up before they even got closer to the verge of falling.

She was on her bed staring up the ceiling, reflecting on their past. Again, back to the times when everything was plain and simple..no twists..no pain and loneliness..no tears, just smiles.

And she was thinking if who is to be blamed? Tsubasa or she?

If Tsubasa didn't confess, then she wouldn't have been confused. She wouldn't have undergone that process of uncertainty and hardship just to be able to save their friendship. She wouldn'thave been hurt.

She would have been spared from grief.

But then, if Misaki didn't reject him, he wouldn't have drifted away. He wouldn't have ruined his life, wouldn't have hidden anything from her. He wouldn't have hurt her.

He would have been saved.

But as they say, regrets are always at the end of what you thought a rainbow, but in truth..gray clouds of melancholy.

And since regrets are always at the end, there's no way you can alter the fate destined to be a part of your life. You won't even know what decisions would lead to regrets, because as long as you know you're in the right path, you'll never be able to see the drawbacks. You won't even know where your point of weakness is.

Still, if Regret is there, Change is also here.

Regrets transform us into someone we don't know we could ever be. They make us see our mistakes and imperfections. They help us overlay what has been written wrong with right things.

Though nobody's perfect, regrets can encourage us to dream of perfection so not to commit mistakes anymore. Thus, they make us more determined to face the new tomorrows and leave all the yesterdays, to start a better life and kill the old life full of lies and faults.

Regrets result to Change. And if there is Change, for sure there would be Hope.

By the word Hope, you can dream of anything involving Hope. Hope for an easier life, Hope for getting higher grades, Hope for mending the broken relationships, and Hope for finding someone you can be with for the rest of your life.

However, there is an exception.

There is never a hope for turning against the time and rewind what has been played already.

Misaki had all these reflections. The result? Tears.

Just the thought of never being able to turn back the time and redoing everything buries her heart several feet under the ground.

Hope was never there for her. She thought it had been, even for once but reminiscing the times when Tsubasa just did nothing but to ditch her, even taking into account that he was the one who brought her to the clinic (maybe just driven by pure conscience without any concern), she surmised that she never found Hope at her side.

So at times like this, she thought., Just how reliable Hope is?

There has been regrets, she has tried to make a change, still..Hope hasn't appeared.

With all that, she discovered that to sleep and to wish that by tomorrow everything would be okay is the best thing to do. So, she did.

* * *

Tsubasa was already in the process of getting out of the academy by crossing that barrier with the instrument Persona handed him to avoid detections from the academy, when someone startled him.

" Ne, Tsubasa- senpai," Mikan started. When she was on her way back to their building, she saw Tsubasa wandering and so decided to follow him. Anyway, she's waiting for the right time to have a small talk with him, and maybe this is it.

Mikan was also expecting Tsubasa to be on his way to their building but was surprised when she saw where was he headed. So, before Tsubasa was able to use the instrument and successfully escape - not a permanent escape – she decided to speak.

" Oh…Mikan – chan! It's quite dark already and you're still up?" Tsubasa was becoming nervous. If Mikan gets to know what is he planning to do, he's dead. For sure, he'll patch things up first before doing the mission. And if that will be the case, Persona would be dead angry. He could then do something bad to the most important people in Tsubasa's life.

" Why are you, Senpai? Mission, I guess. And what if something happens to you? Will you be able to return your life? Why do you have to risk your life just to protect us? Isn't there any other way?" Mikan asked him glumly. She was hell tired of understanding why the Dangerous Class should do such things. Knowing Natsume doing missions is way too much for her to take already and then now her Tsubasa- senpai who has been also a precious part of her life does the same thing?

" Well, let's just say that it's the Academy's way or even if it's not..it's someone's way and we have no choice but to follow for the sake of other people's lives. Anyway, it's not my habit to fret about silly things like this," he let out an easy laugh. This could be his last laugh, if he won't be able to survive outside.

How long has it been since the last time he laughed "whole-heartedly"? Now, he felt like he should be laughing more often, that is…if he would still have the chances to laugh and have the time of his life.

" You're not forgiven, yet, Senpai," Mikan suddenly said in a morose mood.

" Oh…hai. Mikan-chan, I'm really sorry for hiding this to you, and for making you worry. You know my reason, right?Hope you can treat me again as your Senpai," hell…he sweat-dropped there as he was waiting for Mikan's answer.

" Do I really need to accept your apology? Do you still want me to treat you as my Senpai?" she said with a plan inside her head. Her voice becoming childish.

" Of course, I do," Tsubasa replied with perplexity enveloping him. _What does she want?_

" If that is so, then I would grant it! Provided that you promise to fix everything with Misaki-senpai and that you'll no longer avoid nor hurt her. In simple words, promise me..you'll stay with her and protect her," Mikan acted like a mother telling her son off because of committing a dire mistake.

Tsubasa didn't know what to say. He never thought that Mikan would have this as the condition. Of all possible conditions, why should she pick the hardest thing for him? But..a part of him does want it, somehow.

" Oh..so you don't want? Okay then..apology denied!" she continued seeing that Tsubasa seemed to ignore the topic. He didn't reply, did he?

For the second time, Tsubasa wasn't moving..just staring blankly at nowhere.

Mikan heaved out a sigh, presuming that Tsubasa really didn't want to talk about the matter, and then she started to turn around and walk away. But she halted when she heard Tsubasa talk.

" I promise. From now on, I'll fix everything I ruined," and then he smiled genuinely, reassuring Mikan that it really came from his heart and that he meant it.

Just hope, it's not yet too late.

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**Sorry if it's short and doesn't satisfy you. I just have to take a break from "their" scenes. I'll try to insert moments in the following chapters. Please leave reviews! I need them badly.**


	8. SORRY

Dear Readers,

Before anyone says, WHAT? NO, I am not deleting this story or discontinuing it, leaving it hanging. I can never be someone who abandons everything and easily leave things behind. However, I am very sorry to disappoint you for expecting that this is a chapter update.

I just want to say goodbye for awhile. See my profile.

Thank you for the continued support for my works even if they just drag on and on. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to write even when I have nothing to share but lame chapters. Thank you for ignoring my grammatical and technical errors. Thank you for everything.

And I hope I can stay but...yeah..this is life.

This story will also undergo revision, though, not now. I have to take care of something else before I can visit this site again. And that's what hurts the most: when your NEED and WANT collide, because that's the time you'll feel how hard it is to decide.

Love yah, guys!

Until the next time,

Ashia Yifei


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